Ponderings!

       I read other blogs and follow user groups about adoptions from Ukraine, and I am thankful that we did not/ are not experiencing some of the issues other families have gone through in their adoption and with their children once they get them home. ( Please pray for all adoptive families, as this is not an easy journey.)  I have read several posts from families who have had their children for 9 plus years and once they become teenagers, the child is being diagnosed with RAD (reactive attachment disorder)...it makes me wonder... how do you know the difference between an attachment issue or just teenage rebellion?  Rebellion is in the heart of everyone....look how rebellious the children of Israel were and they had God literally guiding them day and night!!  I don't need to be educated on attachment issues, because I read the books and the horror stories...we were required to read them for the adoption.  I still own all the book.....not to mention that a major part of my profession is helping children with emotional issues......I AM JUST PONDERING the state of mankind.....
      My kiddos are far from perfect and I suppose this is on my mind today because of their recent behavior.   Leeza had a semi-major meltdown last night, and Zhenya had a major pouting episode today.  Leeza has a minor sometimes major meltdown about once a month and she lacks a certain level of empathy at times that gives me some cause for concern.  Of course other times she is very empathic. Her frustration level is very high...she will cry when she thinks she can't do something.  She is definitely a drama queen.  Zhenya is a serious pouter/whiner/stuffer/quitter when he doesn't get his way, or he claims that whatever he wanted is no longer a desire to the extreme.  For instance, if I ground him from his video games, then he claims he will never play them again for the rest of his life.  This is laughable of course because I know that will not ever happen.  We rarely even respond to these behaviors because I have found that when I engage either child when they are in their irrational state that it tends to make matters worse.  We have the constant need/request for reassurance of our love forever.  I understand most of these behaviors for what they are...insecurity over losing and rejection from their parents as well as manipulation to get their way from time to time.   Overall, they are great, well behaved kids both at home and in public.  My heart breaks for the families dealing with the things they are dealing with, and I pray for them constantly.    
I know the answer to all my ponderings for my own children.......ultimately, I believe that when I dedicated my children to God that I gave them to Him. God is the healer of all hurts and issues.  Jeff and I are doing our best to teach them about God's love and grace as well as wholeheartedly love them in action and words. We don't give them an excuse when they make a bad choice in behavior...we talk about the choice and pray for forgiveness.  We let them know that mama and papa make bad choices sometimes too and we have to pray for forgiveness as well.  Jeff and I have worked with and attended an addiction recovery group for over two years, and we have met/seen case after case of people who let their past dictate and control their present and future.   There are some sad heartbreaking stories from these extremely broken people....but for those who allowed God in his mercy and grace to touch and change their lives..........it has made all the difference. For those who have not...they have lives that are destroyed and families that are broken.  (Jeff and I have an amazing story of God's grace in our lives and marriage.)   So the plan for Zhenya and Leeza.....as parents and followers of Jesus...we will be an example of God's grace and mercy.....teach them about God's grace and mercy....then if the time ever comes (though I pray it does not)...they will be equipped to know how to handle their past and their emotions, and not let the devil control their future.  God loves them more than I ever will, so I am just going to put it in His more than capable hands!!