Sad Heart

My heart is very sad today.  I had to put my precious Shih Tzu, Paitence, to sleep today.  I have had her for 15 years, and she has been my comforting companion through a lot of trials and tears from my single hood to my married life.  She was a very sweet dog, the runt of her litter.  She never weighted more 8 lbs when she was suppose to weight much more full grown.  I am going to miss her very much, but I know it was her time.  Watching her struggle to lift her head this morning was more than my heart could bear. 

In reminiscing with my mother about the day I bought her, I realized that the situation from which I got my daughter wasn't much different than the situation from which I got my precious dog. Patience was so tiny and the other puppies were clamoring for attention and pushing her around.  She sat at the back of her kennel trembling when my dad went in to pick her up. My heart was instantly gone.  When Jeff and I went to visit Leeza for the first time with her groupa, she too sat back while the more aggressive children pushed her away to get to us.  She was the tiniest and most frail in her group.  She sat trembling timidly when we first saw her and she instantly stole our hearts.  When we brought snacks for the kids, they would push her away to get to them.  If we were doing something they wanted to do, she always got shoved aside or pushed to the ground by the other kids.  They were sweet kids, but Leeza was so very timid and didn't stand a chance against them physically.  They wanted/needed attention too.  Just like Patience needed me more than the other bigger healthier puppies, my little girl needed us more than the other kids.  We have often said that out of the thirty kids in Leeza's orphanage, she was the one child who needed a mama and papa the most.  She had the most issues and she was the most withdrawal.  In our care, she has blossomed into a spunky, sassy six year old full of personality and no longer the sad trembling little girl we met in Ukraine.  Now there is a sparkle in her eyes, because she knows she is loved.

  I know some might be offended about the comparison of my daughter to my dog.  I am certainly not one of those people who place more value on animals than humans.  However, when I think of both siutation I think of how God in His infinite Love for His Creation had a plan, and He knows what we all need.  My sweet dog and my sweet girl needed me, and I needed them.   I hope I can be as good a mama to my sweet Leeza as Patience was a good friend and companion to me.